A Sorry Affair

John Smulo is compiling a powerful and humble list of apologies sent in by Christians on behalf of themselves and their communities. It reflects a deep compassion and humility -and honesty - which needs to be encouraged in the church, as it seeks to represent Christ in this world. The list is currently:

I am sorry that as Christians we have focused on speaking words of judgment, rather than living lives of love and grace.

I am sorry for thinking that being moral was more important than being merciful.

I am sorry for focusing on being right instead of being kind and merciful.

I'm sorry that I ever thought that a pointing finger would be mistaken for a beckoning hand.

I'm sorry that I have excluded too many wonderful people by sticking to a narrow minded view point for too long.

I'm sorry that for far too long my politics and my rhetoric have far too often mirrored the kingdom of this world rather than the Kingdom ofGod.

I'm sorry that I've acted out of self-interest rather than out of true love and care for others.

I am sorry for loosing connectivity with the most important thing while defending my theology...you.

I am sorry for being so busy with church work that I didn't take the time to show you Christ's love.

I'm sorry for thinking that God can only work and speak through Christians and that true beauty can only be found in the sacred.

I'm sorry we don't party more.

I am sorry that as Christians we have said we will follow Jesus teachings "Love God and love neighbor" but forgotten the second part, neighbor. You, yes you, the (right/left, gay straight, poor/rich, democrat/republican, convict, felon, rapist, ugly, fat, skinny, pretty, popular, dork) neighbor. Forgive us.

I'm sorry that many of you placed your trust in us as Christians...and got badly let down.

I'm sorry that we have closed the doors; that we have placed behavior and belief over love and relationship. I'm sorry that we've been ourown little clique and left you out in the cold. Will you forgive us?

I'm sorry that we have spent our fortunes on ourselves while neglecting the needs of those who are desperate.

I am sorry we have not been a more frequent, more firm and more graceful voice in environmental, political, and human rights arenas.

I am sorry that I have thought for so long that you needed to come to me, instead of me coming to you.

I am sorry that I have often been too busy [and] that I still walk past the hungry, homeless people on my way to theological college, daily.

I am sorry that I don't venture out of the safety of my own four walls near enough.

I am sorry that I loved myself more than I loved you.

I am sorry that we have defined holiness by a list of things we do not come into contact with, people whom we don't have fellowship with, and distance from behavior we do not approve of. This is not the path of Jesus.

I'm sorry for being so quick to point out others sin while hiding my own in a closet and not dealing with it.

I am sorry that I have been consumed with self-interest over God's interest and that has taken its toll on you.

I am sorry that I drew battle lines when I should have been busy walking over with a loaf of home-made bread and a warm smile.

I am sorry that I was too busy to see you or to really listen.

I am sorry for making Jesus seem so boring and religious. He's not. But a lot of times I am.

I'm sorry I haven't shown more compassion to those in need.

I am sorry that somehow church has come to mean dead building where you are made to feel uncomfortable,rather than vibrant community where you are made welcome.

I am sorry for being so easily offended.

I am sorry that I have let the church dictate who I show love and grace to rather than following the Example of Jesus..

I'm sorry that I've participated in helping make the hours of the week when most churches worship together the most segregated hours of the week, segregated racially and economically.

I'm sorry that I was busy with my own struggles, and I did not visit you when you were hurting.

I'm sorry that we have presented the true love of our lifes so poorly to you. What is in our minds is not what comes over our lips. I am appalled that what is beauty, freedom, love and truth in my head comes out as unfreedom, judgement and ugliness of my mouth. Please help!

I'm sorry for having been a moralistic, unloving, selfish asshole for too many years.

I'm sorry for being legalistic.

I'm sorry that we as Christians have been so poor at demonstrating God's unconditional love...

I'm sorry Jesus for taking 14 years to realise that its whats on the inside that counts.

I am sorry that we create the facade that Christians are sinless, issueless, unbroken, unf*****up. we are a community of sinful, broken, f*****up people and you are welcome to join us. I am also sorry that we in America think in terms of the bottom line and have reduced the message of Christ to getting people out of hell. I am sorry for how we cram this truncated message down your throat.

I'm sorry for having been so defensive - as though your just criticisms could somehow hurt my God - rather than simply listening to and exploring your questions and doubts with all sincerity.

I'm sorry I thought that 'having dominion over the earth' gave humankind the right to rape the environment because Armageddon was going to happen anyway. I'm sorry I thought ideas about religion were more important than God's creation.

I am sorry that I ran off my mouth instead of just listening.

I'm sorry I thought it was all about me and my gifting and my 'gig'. I'm also sorry christianity is so boring as it's practiced in western culture. I'm sorry I've spent more time being 'right' instead of 'kind'. I'm sorry I missed so many opportunities to learn from you...especially the 'you' that looked or believed differently than me.
I'm mostly sorry I've squandered resources like time, money, talents, and LOVE that are so freely bestowed on me undeservedly...and instead griped and used them for my own ego and gain. God, forgive me. World, forgive me.

I am so incredibly sorry for all of those times I have repeatedly sacrificed kindness on the self-righteous altar of "correct" theology, morality and politics.

I am sorry that I have been consumed with self-interest over God's interest and that has taken its toll on you.

I am sorry I didn't listen to you when you said we were full of s***. I am sorry that I didn't defend you against the wiles of ambitious preachers. I am sorry I didn't address the sexual, physical and emotional abuse you witnessed. If I could change anything, I would be like Jesus and overturn every money changers' table and walk out on every "church building" speech I heard. More than that, I would be that one doing the healing, touching and ministering to you, rather than turning you over to the "church" for ministry.

I'm sorry to those that I have ignored. I'm sorry to those I have been less than genuine. I'm sorry to those I have wronged in deed and word. I'm sorry to those whom I have spoken harshly to or judged too quickly. I'm sorry that I have offered less than what was freely given to me. I pray that somewhere, someone was able to show you truth in a way I didn't. Please forgive me!?

I'm sorry that we as Christians have imposed our system of belief upon many non-christians in such a way as to force them to believe as we do. We shouldn't be taking those who don't follow Jesus and expect them to live by a Christian standard.